Posted 9 hours ago

suspend:

eats when im sad, sad when i eat

Posted 9 hours ago

*tamp tamp*

groans:

ah i see youve noticed me tamping down the soft earth

(Source: 0000000000000000000000999)

Posted 9 hours ago

oqk:

put 100 kids in a room…. kill 10… only 90 kids will remember this

Posted 9 hours ago

silenthill:

i hate porn. “ohh fuck my ass!!!” you fuck your own damn ass

Posted 14 hours ago

Everyone is so stupid shut up

Posted 15 hours ago
  1. WiFi: connected
  2. Me: then fucking act like it
Posted 15 hours ago

dildotho:

one time when I was 13 I wrote wtf on a Facebook status and my dad had a talk with me about being appropriate on the Internet

(Source: dildotho)

Posted 15 hours ago

spoopdogg:

seventoinfinity:

discuntinq:

Using y = mx + b to measure the slope of that ass

Mathematically incorrect. Unless the ass was linear, but that’s biologically incorrect. You’d probably wanna use something like y=ax^2+bx+c because the ass is a second degree polynomial curve. 

did you major in booty math

Posted 15 hours ago
amazign:

djprincessk:

stop-hammerkind:

srsfunny:

Glass Blower: Sculpting A Horse From Molten Glass

WHAT

#this bitch just said let there be horse and there was

i thought this was a gif of a man fighting a giant angry slug

amazign:

djprincessk:

stop-hammerkind:

srsfunny:

Glass Blower: Sculpting A Horse From Molten Glass

WHAT

#this bitch just said let there be horse and there was

i thought this was a gif of a man fighting a giant angry slug

Posted 16 hours ago
mens-rights-activia:

Benedict Cumberbatch is stopped yet again from illegally downloading movies, God bless

mens-rights-activia:

Benedict Cumberbatch is stopped yet again from illegally downloading movies, God bless

(Source: crocroach)

Posted 1 day ago

youngstero:

my mom went to high school with jamie lee curtis and one time they both got caught smoking pot together and jamie told the teacher it was my mom’s and my mom was suspended and jamie lee got no punishment so think about that next time you want some activia

the laxative yogurt lady fucked over my mom

Posted 1 day ago

asd123123sadzkmxkclekrmds:

dog goes woof
cat goes meow
i wipe my brow and i sweat my rust
cow goes moo
the chemicals

Posted 1 day ago
  1. Bae: Come over
  2. Me: I'm in me mum's car
  3. Bae: My parents aren't home
  4. Me: Broom Broom
Posted 1 day ago

breadmaakesyoufat:

when a group of teenagers walks past you and starts laughing at you for no apparent reason

image

Posted 1 day ago

bowieslut:

COSMO TIP #749: spice up your time in the bedroom with a little rough play. you could even engage in some “good cop/bad cop” fun! try slapping your partner across the face to get them heated and then yell something enticing like “WHERE’S MR. KRABS!?” you never know, they just might be the one.